Realize

(Clairine T.)

This lyric is about how fear from a particular event or series of events in your life can grab hold of the latter and twist it around, leaving you a shell of who you used to be. When your life is controlled by fear of being hurt, being ridiculed, and/or being left all alone, the easiest thing to do is give up when faced with a choice that could potentially lead you to the above situations. It takes a lot of courage to realize that you are scared, and a lot more to get up and expel your fear, and therefore give you yourself the chance to live your life to the fullest.

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It's made me a coward It's easier to lie than to admit that I've realized Falling down again and again Left some scars that'll never completely heal It always hurt bad in the moment But the worst pain is once the scar appears That's when its memory Resonates loudly in your ear Asking to give you its undivided attention Wearing you down, slowly but surely Until it's all you think about, the one and only It's made me a coward It's easier to lie than to admit that I've realized I've gotten used to giving up Scared of what's to come once I say yes or no It's easier to think that I'm just this way Because this is who I want to be Than to realize, to understand That I've been falling all this time From fear that I'll never see the light of day I used to never care whether I win or lose Used to spend my days doing things I wanted to do But I've gotten weak over the years Gave in to praise from people I don't know Made myself the enemy of who I'd like to be A second of fragility Stopped me, cracking the glass The cracks reached out Until I was spiralling down swiftly Towards an infinity of calling it quits It's made me a coward It's easier to lie than to admit that I've realized I've gotten used to giving up Scared of what's to come once I say yes or no It's easier to think that I'm just this way Because this is who I want to be Than to realize, to understand That I've been falling all this time From fear that I'll never see the light of day I used to trust my instincts Trust that they'll lead me to victory But doing so has made them dull Now I'm making mistakes And creating new ones wherever I go Once a poster child for effort and image Now I have to speak first for people to see me Say sweet nothings all day long For them to forgive, but never forget Just one of the many cracks I've made I don't want to feel that pain again But I'm still in this same mess Dragging those above with me So I'll have the excuse of not being alone But the years have made me realize what I am It's killing me from the inside out But I'm becoming numb anyways All that's left is to say it out loud

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