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So Tell Me This

(Nikki Gillespie)

Letting go of someone, letting go of a partnership..a relationship that ya thought was going to be last one you'd ever have... Can be fucking HARD!! And you sometimes are only left with questions...

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I WANNA KNOW WHY…  
..So please tell me this… 
 
 …How is it I can have anybody I  
 want…… 
 but it's you that I want and it's you  
 that I miss? 
 
Tell me… why that is... 
 
I could have my pick, from all the boys.. whomever I want…  
without even trying or flaunting or making any noise 
 
 PLEASE TELL ME THIS 
 
So what's so great about you, what is it that keeps me so stuck? 
Because I can't move! Fuck! 
It's all gut wrenchingly obvious and yet can't put my finger on it to prove it 
 
 I wanna know why… 
 Please tell me… 
 …So tell me this… 
 How can it ever be you… 
 …when I'm the one you 
 don't kiss? 
 
 Please tell me why it is 
 that you treated me like 
 garbage, yet after 
 everything… 
 You, I still forgive 
 regardless? 
 
 PLEASE TELL ME THIS 
 
I thought I had everything when I had you.. 
Built in laughs as we chilled inside Peppers tunes,  
havin’ a blast, lovin' that you were my best friend and I was yours too, conversations on everything, under the Sun and the Moon... 
 
 PLEASE TELL ME THIS 
 
...maybe this is all my lesson  
I know it's not my karma 
Could be a test, maybe part of a mission…… 
I just can't rest and I'm a mess and trying to smile and be my best 
So hard to walk it off when this pain, this hurt..  
it burns and no words to describe the stinging emptiness...  
it's the worst..it's too hard to swallow  
……. Sometimes I wanna dig that hole and just crawl in it 
 
 I wanna know…  
 So please tell me this… 
 What makes me fuckin 
 want you so badly  
 …when I'm the one that 
 you don't miss? 
 
 Tell me… 
 I hafta know this… 
 Why do I care so much 
 …when I'm the one that  
 you dismissed? 
 
And it's not their fault I end up 
 picking them apart, silently… 
 thinking ’bout what they don't 
 have…instead thinking about  
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© Nikki Gillespie 2024

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