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Stray

(Clairine T.)

Everyone has experienced that feeling of being lost: not knowing where to go afterwards, simply waiting for a past that'll never return to become their future. The feeling leaves a lonely void that at the time, or even well afterwards, makes it seem that there really is nowhere else to go. It's a period of darkness that compels us to sit idly, watching the world go by as we're plagued by thoughts of "I wish I could go back..." and "what could have been...?" But there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and this song encapsulates that journey from the one happy experience that just leaves you feeling lost afterwards to the new light of hope that greets you once you finally traversed that dark tunnel.

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Cyan sky, sky-tinged clouds
The Sun is beaming down, a pale golden halo
But to me everything is simply blue and white
And I could only see
The thousand stars beneath it's light

Just like in yesterday's dark blue night
A new sky, a new shade of blue
I've never laid my eyes on before
Our first meeting had been cold
But still warmth seeped through my bones

It became my Neverland
I'll never grow old as long as it's there
Spread like a map of a thousand silver stars
And I'm facing the only blank space
Waiting for me to take its place

An irreplaceable constellation
To make it whole again
But then the cold night turned away
The warm Sun rose again
And just like that

My path to the stars disappeared
It had been Wonderland all along
And I had just woken up from its dream

"By morning you'll feel better
Sleep will erase your worries for the day"
So they say
But in this afternoon glow
Nothing has changed for me

I'm still a stray soul, spirited away
A lonely comet losing its tail
Straying from its fated path
Breaking like glass into fragile pieces
That'll soon vanish into the night
Lost by dawn, gone like a dream
Daybreak has come too fast

This scenery and the next are blurred together
Colors no longer hold any meaning
I spend my mornings and evenings
Sitting around, waiting
For the second star to the right to let me in again

But the compass had shifted
North is not where it had been
The map is still in front of me
But the blank space had been laid out
For someone else, far far away

Today is spent hoping tomorrow will come again
Holding on to that chance
That I'm still that kid staring at the stars
That the door will be opened again
For me, the me that's older by a few days

That the moment is not over
I'm still the last piece their puzzle needs
But it seems there's still a million light years to go

Till then 
Will I still be a stray soul, spirited away?
A lonely comet losing its tail
Straying from its fated path
Breaking like glass into fragile pieces
That'll soon vanish into the night
Lost by dawn, gone like a dream
Daybreak has come too fast

Why then does slowly, once more
New constellations smile down at me
Every passing night, every passing day
If I'm supposed to lose myself forever?
Why then does the shadows retreated from me
Slowly, but surely like the last frost?

If today is spent hoping tomorrow
Will be better
When will that feeling come again?
A million light years' too long for me to wait
I'll just paint my own path
Weave golden streaks to be my tail 

So by tomorrow I'll be on my way
A different direction, so they say
But at least I've got somewhere to go
A new shade out of space
A fellow stray comet with a different dream
But we're heading towards the same North
Different maps with the same constellations
To our own special Neverland

© Clairine T. 2020

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