Back To Bed

(Erika Poling)

*Initially inspired by a painful migraine *

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You can’t hear the noise within, but I can
And I’m listening for the silence 

My skin didn’t protect me from the malintent;
Intended damage meant to be taken in 
And it’s been soaked in (inch by inch)
And blended with the blood that runs beneath my flesh 
All the way into the glued pieces of severed bone 
Barely hanging on--to the fragmented surface 
Which represents a broken home that is still trying 
But can never be fixed 

The sink will always overflow, it’s overflowing 
Forever filled with a sense of never ending unhappiness 
I know there will still be an overflow, it’s overflowing 
I’ve absorbed every drop that hit 
And I’ve felt the missiles that missed 
They’re still a threat held directly under my chin 
I’m left to defend myself; the skeleton of who I am
Once again, thoughts of them kept in a pistol 

And the inability to get a hold of the things I can’t control 
They’re controlling me 
It’s enough to bring me silently to both knees
Violence doesn’t have to scream, in my head 
Thoughts of them kissed by the promise of eternal sleep 
But still, I’m stuck in the middle 

We’re all living to die 
I’m living, I’m living
We’re all living to die 
I’m living, I’m living
I’m living to die 

You can’t hear the noise within, but I can
And I’m listening for the silence 

To get the slightest peace of mind 
I might only find it when I become one with death
We’ve never been the closest of friends
I’ve only been considered an acquaintance 
But I’d rather marry the grave than be engaged
To a fake world that’s dangerously contagious;
A dystopian disease that makes you want to exist superficially;
A slave blindly chained to meaningless, shallow thinking 
And call the hollow breathing life when it’s not even close, oh

The sink will always overflow, it’s overflowing 
Forever filled with a sense of never ending unhappiness 
I know there will still be an overflow, it’s overflowing 
I’ve absorbed every drop that hit 
And I’ve felt the missiles that missed 
They’re still a threat held directly under my chin 
I’m left to defend myself; the skeleton of who I am
Once again, thoughts of them kept in a pistol 

And the inability to get a hold of the things I can’t control 
They’re controlling me 
It’s enough to bring me silently to both knees
Violence doesn’t have to scream, in my head 
Thoughts of them kissed by the promise of eternal sleep 
But still, I’m stuck in the middle 

Unawakened energy and everyone I know is asleep
So I might as well go back to bed 
Unawakened energy and everyone I know is asleep
So I might as well go back to bed 

You can’t hear the noise within, but I can
And I’m listening for the silence 

We’re all living to die 
I’m living, I’m living
We’re all living to die 
I’m living, I’m living
I’m living to die 
So I,
I’m going back to bed 

Goodnight, kiss
© Erika Poling 2020