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Giving someone the upper hand in a relationship, when they already have it.
I'd say that the song came to be... when I thought about all the things men do or did in the past, for the affection of their love interest.
A girl reminiscing about her first relationship. Confessing that she should have tried hard enough and took her lover for granted.
This song is describing a strong black woman putting a man in check (in a seductive way). She wants him to know that he needs to treat her right and know that she doesn't need him.