Disappear Here
That feeling of reflection after a relationship ends, where you alternate between reminiscing about the good times and the bad times. Meanwhile, you wish you could disappear as they have.
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I bought a Ouija board and
Set that shit on fire
Asked what's held me back
It spelled out desire
The room filled up with smoke
Soot covered the walls
The board turned to ashes and
The fire slowly crawls
I feel the love I had for you
Wither like a rose
Though I feel your presence here and
Smell you on my clothes
Do you want a happy ending?
Tell me, say 'goodbye'
Or tell me that you love me
Begin and end on a lie
I'll just feel free to disappear here
This is not an exit
You won't find one near
None of these words are condescending
Just another clue that this is ending
Nothing left to lose
Nothing left to fear
Open up your heart
I'll disappear here
Disarmed of all morality
Finding comfort in my own mortality
And the way I don't always miss
Every little thing when I reminisce
Nothing left to lose
Nothing left to fear
Open up your heart
I'll disappear here
If your love were my drug
I'd die from all I take
Get high for a moment
Then find out the drugs are fake
You consume my life
But you're not cutting it
Like a potent drug with
Too much cut in it
My lungs fill up with smoke
My soul fills up with dread
No need to fear mortality
Morality's been found dead
I know the road I'm on
Will only lead to regret
I'll just make a u-turn and
Pretend we never met
I'll just feel free
To disappear here
Controlling a machine
I never could steer
You'll say it's all a joke
Just a simple quip
The only joke we ever shared
Was our relationship
No one left to bruise or
To catch her sneer
Standing right in front of you
I'll disappear here
Never fuck a liar
Never trust a whore
Don't show you adore them
Show them the door
Nothing left to lose
Nothing left to fear
All I once held dear
Gone in the atmosphere
Nothing left to lose
Nothing left to fear
Standing right in front of me
She'll disappear here
She was once my greatest passion
I was just her latest fashion
We're losing all our magic
Something simple
Simply tragic
I'll just feel free
To disappear here
Into the loathing
I see in the mirror
Turning around
It seems so surreal
The same imagery
With a different feel
No one to abuse
Out of booze and full of fear
Slips out of her mind
As well as mine
She'll disappear here
Or she'll lie in bed
Fighting with regret
While outside I'm smiling
Lighting a cigarette
Nothing left to lose
Nothing left to fear
Closing my mind to you
As I disappear here
I'll disappear here
© Joshua Lyons 2018
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