If Only I

(Pamela Belitch)

Explorations of fears and external road blocks concerning achieving one's goals

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VERSE 1
If only I had control over my
Own destiny.
Just me only.
Would I see
All my dreams 
Begin to unfurl?
Put my best to the test
Be just me and the world

And not see
Any
Of the road blocks in sight?
Would I drive right on through?
Would I put up a fight
With the p'liceman who says I'm not doing this right?
Would I decide?

CHORUS
I know ultimately, I'm free to decide.
Some excuse is no use when the truth is, I lied.
I don't need approval to let myself fly.
I just need the strength to believe I can try.
But doubt is what rules in my mind.

VERSE 2
If only I had my own car to drive
By myself. Just me.
And me only.
Wouldn't need to look to my passenger side
To be told what to do to take off on this ride
Living my own life.

You still think I'm too young to travel alone.
An inexperienced driver who can't find her way home.
I know that this journey is one I can handle.
I say, Just let me go. You say, That'd be a scandal.
If only I could prove myself to you.
But the gear's stuck in park,
Ain't a thing I can do 
To move.

CHORUS

If only I had control over my
Own destiny.
Just me
Only.
Not my doubts, or my fears, or all the wasted years I've spent idly watching my
Life pass me by...
© Pamela Belitch 2018