Pharaohs of Ping (final and concise version)
A humorous lyrical parody of Mark Knopler's (from Dire Strait's glorious) original classic "The Sultans of Swing". PLEASE NOTE: Since these lyrics are a parody (i.e. a humorous immatation) of the original song, The Sultans of Swing, any 3rd party acquiring a license of these lyrics WILL ALSO require explicit permission and license from the individual, artist, or copyright holding company of the original song's lyrics and/or music owner if its intended use is for any commercial, promotional, or advertisement purposes.
Please note: This text is protected by copyright and may not be copied or used for other purposes - even in parts or in revised form - without the expressed permission by Premium Lyrics.
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You get a shiver just remembering them
Nevermind hearing them play again
But meantime...west of the Derwent River
There's going to be an awful din
A band is going to slaughter music
But you'll feel better when they stop the murdering!
So you step inside...to many grimacing faces
Nobody twice wants to suffer that sound
There's no competition to killing music
Everybody wishing, their last song had come around
So check out Banjo Joe!
Open G's the only chord he knows
Plus he can never keep in time or sing
And Pete doesn't mind his Ukulele's out of tune
He's always been tone deaf!
And busy keeping up both right and left
And as for Henry on piano.. he's particularly awesome
He makes it sound just like the late Les Dawson
God! It really makes your ears ring!!
Hearing the Pharaohs...The Pharaohs of Ping!
Just then a guy in the corner
Drunk and staggering, shouts
"Do ya want some help to sing?"
And someone shouts back..
"They need help with every bloody thing!!"
And just when you think music couldn't stoop lower
Arthur, in the wrong key harp, blows-in with an extended solo!
And finally the man stood up to the microphone
And says, as everyone's lost the will to live
"Goodnight, now it's time to go home!"
And then, as if to really rub it in
Says proudly "We are the Pharaohs...
..The Pharaohs of Ping!!"
© Tony Lawrie 2026
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