Back To Bed
*Initially inspired by a painful migraine *
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You can’t hear the noise within, but I can
And I’m listening for the silence
My skin didn’t protect me from the malintent;
Intended damage meant to be taken in
And it’s been soaked in (inch by inch)
And blended with the blood that runs beneath my flesh
All the way into the glued pieces of severed bone
Barely hanging on--to the fragmented surface
Which represents a broken home that is still trying
But can never be fixed
The sink will always overflow, it’s overflowing
Forever filled with a sense of never ending unhappiness
I know there will still be an overflow, it’s overflowing
I’ve absorbed every drop that hit
And I’ve felt the missiles that missed
They’re still a threat held directly under my chin
I’m left to defend myself; the skeleton of who I am
Once again, thoughts of them kept in a pistol
And the inability to get a hold of the things I can’t control
They’re controlling me
It’s enough to bring me silently to both knees
Violence doesn’t have to scream, in my head
Thoughts of them kissed by the promise of eternal sleep
But still, I’m stuck in the middle
We’re all living to die
I’m living, I’m living
We’re all living to die
I’m living, I’m living
I’m living to die
You can’t hear the noise within, but I can
And I’m listening for the silence
To get the slightest peace of mind
I might only find it when I become one with death
We’ve never been the closest of friends
I’ve only been considered an acquaintance
But I’d rather marry the grave than be engaged
To a fake world that’s dangerously contagious;
A dystopian disease that makes you want to exist superficially;
A slave blindly chained to meaningless, shallow thinking
And call the hollow breathing life when it’s not even close, oh
The sink will always overflow, it’s overflowing
Forever filled with a sense of never ending unhappiness
I know there will still be an overflow, it’s overflowing
I’ve absorbed every drop that hit
And I’ve felt the missiles that missed
They’re still a threat held directly under my chin
I’m left to defend myself; the skeleton of who I am
Once again, thoughts of them kept in a pistol
And the inability to get a hold of the things I can’t control
They’re controlling me
It’s enough to bring me silently to both knees
Violence doesn’t have to scream, in my head
Thoughts of them kissed by the promise of eternal sleep
But still, I’m stuck in the middle
Unawakened energy and everyone I know is asleep
So I might as well go back to bed
Unawakened energy and everyone I know is asleep
So I might as well go back to bed
You can’t hear the noise within, but I can
And I’m listening for the silence
We’re all living to die
I’m living, I’m living
We’re all living to die
I’m living, I’m living
I’m living to die
So I,
I’m going back to bed
Goodnight, kiss
© Erika Poling 2020
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