Chainsaw Selma

(Melanie Thompson)

The fiddle is a beautiful instrument. Though it is sometimes referred to as a "saw". The sounds that come from it are themselves quite beautiful. But in the wrong hands instead of beauty it brings death. Yes, my friends, the fiddle played the wrong way or by the wrong person can kill. Read these lyrics if you don't believe me.

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Verse 1.
 Deep in the woods of Alabama.
 In a cabin gone to rot.
 Lives the widow, Chainsaw Selma.
 Seldom seen, but never forgot.

 She sits every night by the fire.
 Scratching and torturing strings.
 Bending them into submission.
 Oh, those poor little things.

 She knows how to play only sad songs.
 Refusing herself any glee. 
 Her bow is as sharp as a sickle.
 Her fiddle she carved from a tree. 

Chorus.
 Chainsaw Selma 
 plays the fiddle.
 While fresh meat fries 
 on her hot griddle.

 Left for dead
 when she was little.
 Her ma went mad.
 Her pa went mental.

 Chainsaw Selma
 was nonessential.

Verse 2.
 Deep in the woods of Alabama.
 A car pulls off the road.
 The driver walks a path
 that leads to Selma's home.

 He says his name is John.
 The car he drove has stopped.
 He asks to use a phone.
 The one thing he has not.

 Warming his bones by the fire.
 The widow wastes no time.
 She takes her bow and slits his throat.
 Then sprinkles him with lime.

Chorus.
 Chainsaw Selma 
 plays the fiddle.
 While fresh meat fries 
 on her hot griddle.

 Married she 
 husbands triple.
 How they died, 
 each one a riddle.

 Chainsaw Selma,
 that's coincidental.

 
Verse 3. 
 Deep in the woods of Alabama.
 In a freezer stuffed and stocked.
 Is the meat of John the traveler.
 And the freezer has a lock.

 The floor is clean. The blood is gone.
 Should the Sheriff come to check.
 The bones he wore are powder now.
 No trace of him. No speck.

 He was a very handsome man.
 She liked his style and fashion.
 But with winter only two weeks off,
 she'll need those extra rations. 

Chorus.
 Chainsaw Selma 
 plays the fiddle.
 While fresh meat fries 
 on her hot griddle.

 She is old. 
 But she's no cripple.
 She only eats
 the healthy people.

 Chainsaw Selma
 is preferential.
© Melanie Thompson 2023