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A dying drug addict is locked away and starts to die in isolation, he carves a confession into the walls of his cell as his addled brain falls apart apologising to the love of his life for what he's become as he slowly dies alone unable to fully recall his own life as it passes in unfamiliar frames in front of his eyes
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Rainbow hearts
contained in silence
won't console the
essence of my pain.
For my part
I bled to try this
newfound soul
destructive strain.
Forego all my ego
lock away my broken keys
take the doors down off their hinges
see where these blocked hallways lead.
Frame the photos
I've crossed out
the blackened moments
I've blocked out!
Frame the instants I've betrayed
and all the promises that we've made
Take my hand and lead me back
to where I lived inside the black!
Cold white walls
to write my diary
confess the things
I've locked away.
And when night falls
I'll hide in starlight
as alone I sing
for you to stay.
Undo all my locks
carve the padding bare
Find the place where trauma stops
and you will find me there.
Frame the photos
I've crossed out
the blackened moments
I've blocked out!
Frame the instants I've betrayed
and all the promises that we've made
Take my hand and lead me back
to where I lived inside the black!
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to go
I don’t want to go!
I miss the touch of grass
I miss our secret songs
I miss the cadence of your laugh
and I wish that I was wrong
but I don’t think that I can stay for long.
Remember my smile
remember my laughter
remember me for a while
but don’t forget your ever after.
I would give every second I’ve got left
for a single more with you.
Don’t waste it, not a single breath
everyone’s bill comes due.
I won’t live in the tears that you shed
but I promise I’ll stay
In the moments you’ll never forget.
© Steven Mailer 2020
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